i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
