Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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