I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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