Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
