Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
