I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
