So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
