I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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