Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
