The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
