I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
