SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
