and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
