I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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