38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Green mimosas i think yes
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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