your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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