my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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