So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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