The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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