She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
