i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
