Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize