awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
