if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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