Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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