She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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