i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
