Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
its liver damage thursday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
