So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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