Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
