hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
