The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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