remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize