She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
