ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
