ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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