Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
