I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
