I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
