wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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