You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
