Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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