She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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