I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
