it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
