awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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