Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
God, I missed his penis.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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