Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize