was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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