Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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