was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
