accomplished twins. life is a go
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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