That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
