I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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