grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
