I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
