Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
