I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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