when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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