I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
